You’re More Powerful Than You Realize.
Hey mama-bear,
There is one crazy sneaky limiting belief that plays a HUGE role in the TTC journey.
I discovered that I was letting this thought run my journey for years. It was making every little thing feel forced, my body felt tight and it made my mind race with thoughts.
I let the belief go, just a few months before getting pregnant.
And as I saw how disbelieving this thought changed the entire course of my journey, it gave me permission to:
Finally see myself pregnant.
Be at peace with my body.
Let go of forcing and controlling
I knew I had to document it and share how and why it was working. Which is why I created my group coaching program.
So in today’s podcast, you’re gonna learn what the limiting belief is, and I’m gonna share with you how letting that limiting belief go will change everything for you - In fertility and in LIFE.
It’s probably gonna shock you. Because the thought is going to feel true for you.
But you’re gonna have to ask yourself – even though it feels true… “How is this thought serving my dream of having a happy, healthy baby?”
So yes, I’m gonna be super annoying and tell that you that you’re gonna have to listen to this weeks podcast to learn the belief.
Enjoy this one mama-bear! This episode can change everything for you. Listen with an open heart.
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to the Fertile Ground podcast with Spenser Brassard. The only podcast that teaches you how to get your mind and body on board so you can get your baby on board. And now here's your host, mind-body fertility expert and certified life coach, Spenser Brassard.
Hey, Hey, mama bear. I'm so happy to be here with you today. Spring is here in my city. And after being locked down for a year, I mean, it's never felt so good. It always feels good, but this time especially. We've been going for a ton of walks with the dogs and Beck, our 11 month old son. And my son, he's just absolutely obsessed with outside. He has the biggest smile on his face and starts kicking his feet when we bring him in from outside and as soon as we come in he starts bawling his eyes out, he is a true nature boy, which, actually funny enough, I used to listen to that song nature boy all the time when I was trying to conceive. So cool. Right. We are so excited for the weather to get nicer, so he could just explore outside for as long as he wants and not just cry to go outside whenever we let the dogs out. Okay. So let's jump into this week's podcast. Cause I hate when podcasts take forever to get to the actual content. Right. So let's just dive right in.
Okay. So. This is a bit of a vulnerable thing that I want to admit to you. But, I often wrestle with the thought that my approach to getting pregnant seems quote unquote, too good to be true -that people will hear how I got pregnant by learning how to love my life, by doing less, not more. And by letting go of trying to do everything perfectly and say, you know, maybe that worked for her, but that sure as hell is not going to work for me. Because it is so deeply ingrained into our brains, this cultural belief that we need to work harder, that we need to suffer and sacrifice in order to earn or deserve what we want. The more hours and the more to-do's will finally solve the mystery. But let's get super real on this podcast, which you wouldn't expect any less from me. Right?!
You've been taking that route for years. You've been banging your head against the wall, trying to discover your blind spot. I know exactly what that feels like. You're trying to search high and low for whatever you're missing. It feels tight. It feels forced. It feels hard. And you keep repeating to yourself, "what the heck am I doing wrong?" Right?. I know this because I was exactly there and here was my blind spot. I didn't realize that I actually had a choice as to whether or not the journey was going to feel hard. If this triggers you keep listening. I thought there was only one very secret way to my baby that I would only reveal with the power of my analytical mind.
As soon as I dissected the shit out of this, then I would figure it out. And that it was my job to work harder than I've ever worked to figure it out. That is until I challenged the belief that it had to be hard. And this is what life coaching enables you to do - to challenge the beliefs that are causing you suffering, bottom line. Okay. Life coaching is challenging the beliefs that are causing you suffering. And the sheer fact that this thought was making me suffer was enough to change the thought, and I am wanting to see this because a lot of people say to me, "well, Spenser, I want to be realistic." If you're ready to be realistic, it's time to admit that you're in suffering and you need to get out. Right, that you deserve, that you are worthy feeling better on the journey to your baby. So if the thought is making you suffer, you change that thought you, disbelieve it. Right. And that's what I'm trained to do, as a certified life coach, is to help you either one, Grieve it, or two, disbelieve it. But in this sense, for me, it was disbelieving the thought that getting pregnant was hard. I think a lot of people take their thoughts as facts and reality, and they look to the past to prove it. But thoughts are always relative, right? Everyone has different opinions of what is true and what isn't true, a really good podcast on that is There is no such thing as right or wrong - I don't have the episode number, but you can search through the podcast to find it. So, I'm going to say that again, thoughts are all relative and you 100% have the freedom in your life to change whatever fucking thoughts you want in order to feel better. And in turn, change your reality. I think so much of the problem and the triggers and the suffering is looking outside of ourselves for evidence of our fears.
Right, to looking at that pregnant person saying, see, like this hurts so much, but we have to stop fighting for our fears and start believing in another way. Instead, we can turn our attention inward, gain awareness of our thoughts and create our own truths from the inside out. I talk a lot about this in the new module I just released inside a Fertility Mind-Body Mastery called Magic. It's about following your nature and what feels good to you; claiming your worth and letting go of outside validation. And as we do that, we optimize our nervous system that enables us to, to create and envision our ideal life. And it's so fascinating because I know you want to live this life. I know you want this more than anything, right? To be happy, to have your baby. But it's so interesting you know, we were saying in the last group coaching call, sometimes we just need permission to, especially as women, you know, and that's what Fertility Mind-Body Mastery does for you. As you get coached by me and surround yourself with women, who are no longer following the cultural norm, that are in the group.
So. Anyways, you know, back to the subject. As I challenged the thought that getting pregnant is hard, I realized that if I believe it's hard, I will make...I will make this challenge hard. Right? I will complicate the shit out of every little thing. And this is all very subconscious, right? So for example, finding to cook a fertility friendly meal, I will subconsciously find the most complicated recipe on the internet because my monkey mind is still reiterating to me and telling me that. This will make me worthy, right? Of getting pregnant when the reality is that when it comes time to eat and digest that meal, I'm just too exhausted to enjoy it. And the presence is completely lost. So when we complicate things and make it as hard as possible, whether or not we are aware of it, the joy of the journey is lost. So I will complicate, I will research and I will resolve it. Every little thing I do to try and get pregnant and resent every single person who does get pregnant. And when I think about what happens in my mind and body, when I believe that getting pregnant is hard, it actually makes getting pregnant feel impossible because energetically, all you feel is resistance to the heart.
Of course, it's something you want, but all you feel is past years of difficulty, exhaustion with the hard is especially, like I said, if it's been years of hard, like it was for me. And it's a total mind fuck because you want it more than anything in the world, but there's subconscious resistance because it feels so hard. And who wants that? So again, one of the really important ways that we need to question our thoughts is ask us how it's working for us. Right? How does it feel when we believe this thought, right? How is it working for you to believe that getting pregnant is hard? Like I said, this thought feels forced uncomfortable, impossible. And incredibly tight in the body, not to mention how it makes your mind race with impossible, you know, things to add to your already full, to do list as if happiness, peace and finally feeling enough is found in your to-do list, right outside of you, potentially driving you into major overwhelm. And sometimes because of the overwhelm, procrastination sets in and you don't really end up getting much done at the end of the day.
I mean, I can't tell you how many times that's happened to me. So, how the mind body connection works is, let's say you believe that getting pregnant is hard so the body in that thought feels really, really forced, right? It feels tight. So we don't really like to feel those sensations. In fact, our, you know, our reflex kind of to those feelings is not to feel it. So what do we do when we feel, when we noticeand sense in a split second, like in a split fucking second, that the body's tight, we live in the brain. So we spend all of our time analyzing thinking, complicating the shit out of our, you know, out of this challenge to get pregnant. And so we completely cut ourselves off from our bodies and live from the neck up in the head. And so what that does is that drives the body into the sympathetic nervous system, fight or flight. So the idea of the mind-body connection and the research is that we open up the mind and the body to work together. So the body roots the mind in processing the thoughts by feeling the emotions in the body.
And that's what I teach you inside ofFertility Mind-Body Mastery. And that's what changes the nervous systems, the hormones, and the chemicals that we release in our bodies instead of just continuing to go on autopilot, believing that getting pregnant is hard, years going by continuing and believing it's harder than ever. And do you see how that cycle continues? Right. And if you're wondering how to break that, trying to conceive cycle. I have a private training, but you have to apply to work with me and Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. And then if your application is approved by me, you'll be invited to watch that private training. And I teach you how to transform fertility mystery into fertility mastery and break that trying to conceive cycle, because this is the cycle that we get stuck, right, on the journey. When our thoughts take over, we lose contact with our bodies and then we're stuck. So I'd love to show you how to break that cycle inside of, you know, that private training. So there's only two questions you have to answer. And the website is fertilitymindbodymastery.com. You apply, you answer two questions and we'll see if that application is approved. If you're honest and really share your true thoughts, you know, then I get a really good sense of who you are and you'll be sent your private invitation.
So. Back to... okay, I'm way off track, but back to, you know, how this thought and this pattern works, right? So driving you, the complication, driving you into overwhelm and then procrastination setting in, because you're so overwhelmed. And at the end of the day, not really getting much done, wake up, feeling guilty and feeling like shit. We've all been there, right? This pattern all from one thought for potentially years. Crazy. Right. So I know that even though getting pregnant has felt hard up until this point and I have huge compassion for that because it felt, like I said, impossible for me. For a long, long time. And I know exactly what the trials and tribulations feel like; I've been through IVF and miscarriage and the uncertainty and my journey was long as fuck. I get it. I've been through the marriage ups and downs. I've been through the 14 million different diets. I've been through the conversations with the doctors. It's still is, you know, changing the thought that getting pregnant is hard, even though everything was incredibly hard up until that point, was incredibly powerful. So, because it's been hard, that does not mean you have this past to just continue to believe it was hard. Sure. It's been hard up until this point. But trust me when I say that changing this thought will change everything for you and believing that there is another path that is not full of complicated rules and restrictions that will help you to expand your heart and your body into conception.
So the beauty and the power that you have now is knowing that you have a choice. To change this thought and change the entire trajectory of your journey because you know, this is not just a thought, right? Your thoughts affect how your body feels and the hormones and chemicals that flood through your system and your thoughts direct your actions, which is in this case, the thought is making you feel like you have to do and search for things outside of you. Hence fulfilling the truth of the thought that getting pregnant. It's hard, but there is another path to our desires and it's not. Popular in our culture. Our culture likes to complicate things because they feel like there'll be more deserving an earning of their desire. And maybe that's been a pattern in your life. So become curious of that. I know perfectionism was the driving force for me here. And if you haven't listened to that podcast, you totally should, podcast episode 28, but essentially perfectionism says you're not worthy of baby until you "fill in the blank". Right. An example is, go for a walk every day. So subconsciously you don't even feel like you're allowed to have a baby until you do this. And the trick with perfectionism and I, I caught this, I caught this. My perfectionism was not happy about it, but it's a moving target. So I realized once that I, I did my to-do list, but at the end of the day, perfectionism said, Oh, Well, you're going for a walk every day. Now you need to add yoga, right?
Perfectionism will literally never tell you that you've done enough. That's exactly why you can't measure your worth by your productivity. You do not have to do anything to deserve or earn your baby. It's not a prize. In fact, it's already yours. You just got to turn your attention inward to see it for yourself, which is why I created the Outside Validation module inside of Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. And this is a beautiful realization to step into your enoughness now. You can stop trying to prove your self, it's already yours. Who would you be if you lived that truth today? So the path to your desires that I teach and live by in every category of my life. And the path to my baby is called the path of least resistance. This was introduced to my spirit after I coached myself on the limiting belief that getting pregnant is hard because when we let go of all beliefs, energetically, we make room for our spirits to reveal new ones that will support our dreams. AKA, we finally get out of our own way. I remember I had a client who always said Spenser, "I got out of my own way. Oh my God, it feels so good." It's so cool to know that she knew that, you know, all she had to do with the power lyed in her hands to get out of her own way. Right. She was no longer a victim to the outside world. So what is the path of least resistance to me? The path of least resistance is choosing the path, or the journey, that feels the best to you and your makeup. To make a conscious choice, to stop suffering and start enjoying life on the way to your goals. Simple as that, and allowing that new truth to drive every decision of your life. It becomes your filter as you're faced with options. And listen, I'm not saying don't do things that can feel difficult, like IVF, when it comes to your fertility or embarking on a new big project, when it comes to your career.
I'm a big believer that we got to do things outside of our comfort zone. Trust me, you know, in order to grow and evolve, but take the path to that challenge that feels the best. You know, just because it's a challenge doesn't mean you have to suffer through it. That's the power of mindset. Ease is the path of least resistance, and struggle is the path of most resistance. The problem is that most of us don't even realize that we have a choice. My intention behind the podcast is to present to you another option, this other way of doing life, this other way to your baby. One thing I learned that gets in the way of this is an unconscious addiction to suffering and a strong hold on the identity as someone who is struggling to get pregnant. Now, this is quite fascinating, but Dr. Joe Dispenza says that our bodies actually become addicted to certain emotions. You know, that intense emotion you feel. When you see a pregnancy announcement, it gives you a rush of energy. Of course, it's not a choice and you would get rid of it in an absolute heartbeat, but the feeling when you get triggered, produces adrenaline and the rest of the stress hormones arouse the brain and body providing a rush of energy. In time, we can become addicted to the rush of that chemistry within the body. And then we use the conditions in our lives. Like another trigger to reaffirm the emotions. Now I talk a lot about this again, in the private training, you know, there is a way around this to respond to our triggers that break this cycle, like I said, right? Like this is such an unconscious cycle on the fertility journey.
It's unbelievable what happens when we learn how to that we, the power is in our hands to break it. Now, this is absolutely not your fault. It's just what happens when we get stuck in a pattern and don't know how to change it. I mean, becoming aware of our thoughts and learning how to change them wasn't taught in schools. Right. And I actually think it's nice to know that there's something physiologically going on instead of believing that there's something wrong with you. Like there's something going on inside of the body, that there's like this chemistry in this recipe that is making the body feel a little bit addicted to those triggers. So there's nothing wrong with you. You just need to learn how to break the pattern. Now, making the decision to change the original thought and believe a new thought. Like getting pregnant can be easy. Can you let that sit in or does that just feel impossible too? But, it is a fascinating thought to journal about because Holy does it ever feel different now?
Part of my approach. You know, if you were to be a student inside ofFertility Mind-Body Mastery is asking how your body feels about new thoughts, not just your analytical mind, right? Because if I say getting pregnant can be easy, your mind is going, what the fuck, your mind is going to look to the past and look for evidence that this thought is not true. But when I ask your body how it feels that getting pregnant can be easy. You know, for me, when I asked my body that it was like, This feels true. Like my body, you know, it lit up, it felt lighter and more open, more alive and more excited, you know? And I remember even getting butterflies in my stomach.
This is the feeling I want you to follow. Our bodies have a vast amount of intelligence that have gone completely unutilized when we live from the neck up. Right. Not anymore. Plus doing this will strengthen the relationship between you and your body. Immensely, which is very vital and important to creating a baby. Believe it or not. Now I know that it's going to take some trust in a new future in order to let that old belief go. But seriously, what have you got to lose, well here... suffering and sacrifice. And you have so much magic, presence, and love to gain. Ultimately the path of least resistance and this new belief is like declaring to the universe that you are worthy of feeling good. Now it's like Eckart says, suffering is necessary until you realize it isn't. I think on the journey, what I find most frustrating is that I don't know who exactly we're giving our power to. Like, I think religion has taught us a lot about potentially someone judging our every moves. Right. But the only one doing that is you. And we don't know that yet. If we continue to put our attention outward, instead of feeling the truth inside of ourselves, through things like meditation and journaling and reflection, we do give all of our power to some force outside of us that we believe is constantly judging us, but I promise you that once you learn how to bring your attention inward, you know, and apply exercises that get you in touch with the vast intelligence that you have within you and your body that, that whole, like giving your power away thing, completely changes.
So when you believe the thought that getting pregnant is easy, you know, like I said, you're declaring to the universe that you're worthy of feeling good now. And that you're fulfilled now, and this is the ultimate energy that attracts everything we want to us! I know it's so different that from what we've been taught and what we've been grown up with, but wouldn't it be amazing the next generation with this way of doing life, you know, knowing that they have choices, that they're not victims to circumstances that they can choose to grow and expand and embrace challenges, but enjoy the journey towards them. Saying that, you know, just makes me want to have like a big sigh of relief. Now I got to say that my program Fertility Mind-Body Mastery is the path of least resistance. I mean, literally I design every single module around this intention, the path of least resistance that feeling of enoughness now.
So it's your permission slip. To let go of this, getting pregnant thing from feeling so fucking hard and leaning into the ease that will fail your life. Once you make the conscious decision that getting pregnant can be and feel easy. And if this sounds too good to be true. Then you need this program more than ever. You do not need to suffer and sacrifice your way to your dreams. The journey to your dreams is about expanding and taking up space and playing big. The path of least resistance is an alternate route and an opening that I really hope you choose to take.
All right, that's all for today. You can apply for Fertility Mind-Body Mastery at www.fertilitymindbodymastery.com. I can't wait to see your application. Talk to you later. Bye
PS. If the Fertile Ground podcast has restored you with hope on the journey to your baby – please leave a review on iTunes. It helps other mama-bears who could be suffering and feeling alone, find the podcast. YOU can help restore them with hope. Click here to leave a quick review (and use a fake name if that makes you feel more comfortable!).
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