Getting pregnant takes a DIFFERENT kind of energy

Hey mama-bear

Listen here..

I get it.

You’ve spent years, trying your absolute BEST to create this baby.

You’ve taken risks and invested big. Showed up to all those appointments. Brave enough to go through those procedures. Nursed yourself back to life after getting the results back. And been strong as hell to carry on.

But let’s be real right now and admit…

You’re freaking EXHAUSTED!

And you know what mama-bear? UNDERSTANDABLY.

You’ve worked soo hard and held the weight of this journey all on your own. I know that your partner is supportive, but both of you can admit that the responsibility falls mostly on you.

It’s frustrating. Because according to your research (and what family and friends say you “should” do) you’ve done the most logical thing. You’ve invested into the physical mechanics of this journey. So why hasn’t it happened yet?

Well… this week’s podcast is going to reveal it to you. Because: Getting pregnant takes a DIFFERENT kind of energy.

I know you’ve relied on hard work and effort to get you to where you want to go in life and I get that it’s irritating as fuck to not be successful in applying that same kind of effort towards making a baby.

But I learned on the fertility journey myself and surrendered to the fact that creating a baby takes a DIFFERENT kind of energy.

In this week’s podcast, you’re gonna learn:

  • What kind of energy you MUST embody.

  • What if feels like to be inside of it.

  • How to begin applying it to your journey today.

LISTEN NOW!

Love you,

Xo Spenser

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Fertile Ground podcast with Spenser Brassard. The only podcast that teaches you how to get your mind and body on board so you can get your baby on board. And now here's your host, mind-body fertility expert and certified life coach, Spenser Brassard.

Hey mama bear. Welcome to another episode of the Fertile Ground podcast. This is episode number 55 of the podcast, which I started in, I think it was April, 2018. And I just found out that there have been over 200,000 downloads of this guys, which...it's so nuts because I've only had 55 episodes. I mean, I started this podcast when I was knee deep in my journey.

So, you know, we all know that comes with lots of ups and downs and, um, and getting pregnant, and no maternity leave. So I do only have 55 episodes, but holy smoke, 200,000 downloads! So if you feel at all like you are alone hopefully that number reassures you that you're not. Um, and honestly just still to this day, the responses I get in my DMs and my emails of how this podcast is changing people's lives is, is wild and I am eternally grateful for this opportunity to do that for you guys and to be by your side on this intimate, wild journey to your baby. So, if you're new or have been listening for awhile or are bingeing, cause I know a lot of you also do that. Thank you so much for being here and sharing in on the magic.

And if the podcast, you know, has really made you feel relieved, please leave a review or rate it on iTunes. Um, I think you still give it stars because this is how other mama's in waiting find me, that's how, kind of, iTunes or Spotify does it, is through reviews. So in a way you could help other mamas in waiting as well.

Okay. So. Enough about that. I want to dive right into this week's juicy, juicy topic. I get so many messages, emails from women and clients saying, "I've been able to create so much of my life. You know, I've worked hard to get here to, and create this life. This career. I have all of these incredible things in my life." And then they name all of the wonderful things, "but getting pregnant is the one thing I haven't been able to create yet." And honestly, I felt the exact same way when I was on my journey. Because up until that point, if I wanted something, I just put my mind to good use, work for it, and get it because that's what we've been taught in our culture.

If we want a satisfying high paying career, you got to work your ass off. It's what's been instilled in us since we were very young; and since we were young girls by our parents. Right. And if you don't then what are you? You're lazy, right? You've been taught and it's been drilled into your brain and you've been conditioned to believe that if you want something, then you got to work very hard for it and you have to go get it. Be very productive, make lists, plan it all out, go all in. Think only about it. Do all the things and do it in the quickest amount of time. Possible work hard. And work fast grind, grind, grind. So of course this is the same energy and effort you use to try and create your baby and in your defense, it's the only thing you know, and it's the only way you've been taught.

And if it doesn't happen in the timeframe that you'd like, your monkey mind will definitely, without a doubt, suggest to you that you probably just aren't working hard enough. Or that you're not smart enough. Or that you're not disciplined enough. And again, and your defense, this is all, you know, you don't know how to create any other way. It's constantly reinforced and plastered all over the internet. How to be your most productive self, right? How to get more done in less time, how to make six figures in 60 days, how to lose 20 pounds in two months. And it's all in such a fucking rush. And honestly, I will be 100% authentic with you and admit, and just confess that I still fall into this productivity trap. It can be a very easy trap to fall into, into our culture. And I think it's mostly because of the majority of our population is still operating with this belief. Right. And with this energy. So normal humans work this way as well.

So, I know I'm caught up in this trap when I just have this feeling of exhaustion over exertion or energy and of energy, over exertion of energy. And when I keep trying to like rack my brain for a solution and I'm like trying to figure, figure, figure it out, even though all that's hanging out in this brain is mumbo jumbo fuck, and it's to no avail where at the end of the day, you know, I'm just a zombie. Okay. A total burnout. And it's a result of putting far too much value and focus on the outside results and perspective of what I want. This looks like focusing on the analytical, logical and numbers part of what you want to create. And on the fertility journey, this looks like focusing on the numbers and results you got from your doctor, how old you are, how long you've been trying your Basal Body Temperature, what day of your cycle you're on, symptom tracking, right? All keeps you in your head. And so I did this for years on the journey, uh, focusing on the numbers, the stats, the years I'd been trying and feeling so frustrated that I wasn't able to just fucking control the situation more and make it happen.

But what this forceful masculine, just do it energy did to my mind was left me forcing, like it's just, you know, feeling zombie-like and not present because I spent all of my time in my head analyzing every single thing, researching, analyzing, and I spent very little time in my body. There was no mind-body connection present. And it shot my nervous system. I mean, I can totally admit that it left my body feeling frazzled. And like I said, exhausted. I mean, I didn't have anything that was like major, that happened to my nervous system, but I know the feeling of my body was, you know, exhaustion and my body gave me signs and your body will give you signs to, like, for example, bloat or digestion issues.

And I'm learning that this forced energy, this, like, make it happen energy often resides in the gut because it's the third chakra, which is all about control and proving your worth. Which I believe is why the gut is discussed so often in the fertility world, the gut and inflammation, right? So this unsatisfying end result just led me to feel, you guessed it, even more out of control and then forcing more and doing more and adding more and trying to perfect more. And the cycle continued for a very long time. And of course, if your perfectionist monkey mind is also convincing you that you will finally prove that you are worthy and will have done enough when you get pregnant, then you'll find a way to force even harder.

This is why mind-body work, mindset work, whatever you want to call it is vital to your success. You can keep going on this vicious cycle for years, not even knowing that you're over-focused on the physical is what's making you so incredibly miserable. It's so easy to get stuck here, continuing to push with treatment after treatment, hoping that the more you do, the more you will increase your chances. And this is why it's so easy to get stuck here because this problem solving approach, it sounds very logical to our culture, and probably to you right now. It sounds normal. It sounds like what most people would do. It sounds like what would be considered a normal approach and to be fair, it is. And also when we are going to, you know, when we are trying our best to be the most productive, being everything to everyone, multitasking and creating lists full of our to do's and what's next's, it does feel good, momentarily, because there is an initial release of dopamine, which is that feeling you get after you start striking things off the list - it feels so good. Right? I know that you are a list person. Many of the people who come to me, at least a good majority of the women who come to me are planners, um, they have lists... And God does it! There's just something about striking something off the list that just feels so good. But now, you know what it is, it's a dopamine release and it's the same hit of, of energy you get when you hear a ding on your phone or something, right. So it's a quick, but short burst of energy. And that it really mimics the feeling like you're making progress, but as you know, your phone, right? And productivity, it can become addicting. And if we are not conscious and learn a new way to create, we cause burnout in both the mind and body and our bodies get locked into a fight or flight nervous system. Which is the sympathetic nervous system. And here's what else, if the physical is all of your focus, it will also be all you see yourself as and all you think you are, when you are so much more than numbers on a sheet of paper. I've learned that doing is the last half of a satisfying and fulfilling success equation.

The first half, that is hardly talked about or taught by doctors, experts and teachers of the world, is the being state that it takes to make an idea our reality. Oh yes. I said it, the infamous being word. It's like this word that people think they understand, but aren't really sure. But to me, it's like this, I mean, of course you still make the choice to take action towards your goal, but the being is the energy you bring with you to the action that you take. It's the energy you bring with you into your treatment. It's the energy you feel when you're cooking your fertility friendly meal. And it's the energy you feel while taking your vitamins and medication, and it's the energy you exude when you're making love to your partner. If you're just going through the motions, and tasks are filled with resentments of why me and everything is a means to an end, and every task is just to get pregnant or just to make money or just to lose weight...then there is no being, there is no presence. There is no vital life force or creative energy inside of those actions, and note that I said creative energy, right? The intention behind pregnancy is creativity. You're wanting to create life.

So it's like seeing the most beautiful and delectable cake you have ever seen in your life. But when you go to cut into it, you see that there's nothing inside, no feeling, no substance, no flavor. That being energy, that vital life force is what makes the actions that you choose to partake in feel truly fulfilling. It's what makes you feel alive. And well, it's what reveals that delicious chocolate and whipped cream filling inside of the cake. That being energy is what quiets your mind of all the noise and fills you with the trust of your doing, right, instead of constantly second guessing you're doing. And it's what strengthens that magical mind and body connection and what is a huge part, huge part of finally becoming pregnant.

So. What do we do to fill our cake with that rich chocolate and fresh whipped cream? Oh my God. I am going too far with that analogy, but Oh my God, what girl is not, you know, wouldn't want a slice of that. Okay. Sorry. Carried away here, but how do you achieve that being state? Number one, be intentional. Before you commit to a new venture on your fertility journey, get very intentional as to why you are doing it. And the biggest difference is that is the choice too. And the being very, this is a very, very smart decision. Kay, listen to this very clear, find a reason why, beyond getting pregnant. This will also prevent you from just pulling at straws and doing another fertility thing. So let's say you're choosing a new fertility eating plan, right? You feel like that's what's going to make a difference. And if you're intentional, you'll realize that this choice to eat healthy and consciously also provides you with more energy throughout your day. Right? So therefore, therefore you'll be happier when you choose to create from an inner state and allow this being energy to direct and feel the doing with life.

The gratification is weaved through the pursuit of the goal. That feeling of I'm doing enough, I am enough, can be found on the journey and it's beautiful and incredibly relieving because this is what your soul is really craving right now after years of feeling like you're failing. Number two, take baby steps to trust this new energy. So. Again, the reason why we steer away from the being equation of fertility which you could also call and like, let's, let's just find other words for this, the being state. We could also call it the inner work, the emotional side, the spiritual side, right? The receiving state, the feminine energy, the mindset component, right? The mind-body work. But that being energy is because there's no instant gratification that we get when we just take constant action. So in other words, we're too impatient. So you need to begin to trust this new way of creation and learn to trust this energy. You can do this by trusting how it makes your body feel.

At the beginning, the process with this new energy will feel slow. You can just expect that because again, no quick dopamine release from taking crazy action and quote unquote, feeling productive, but soon enough, your body will start to feel calm. And lots of women inside of Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, which is the program that I've created, report just a couple of weeks after being in the program is better, longer and deeper sleeps. A great sign that your body is transitioning into the parasympathetic nervous system. Trust this feeling, this is a result. Maybe you can't see it, but you can sure fucking feel it the next day. Right? And number three, surround yourself with people and find a community that is also choosing to create with this new and refreshing energy.

They say you become like the five people you surround yourself with. And if you continue to surround yourself with people who are hustling, grinding, and marking their worth based on productivity, you will continue to do the same. You'll get caught up. Trust me. And of course, inside of my program, Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, you'll be alongside a group of incredible women who are choosing to create their baby this way as well. So there's no guilt inside of this group and no judgment for, you know, being lazy when you enter a season of slow. Only encouragement and consistency to trust this new energy because the women are constantly sharing their wins and aha moments it's encouraging, and their experience helps you to feel safe, to trust in this energy.

Now, of course, this being state. This new way to create your baby. This calming, reassuring and relieving energy is what I teach you to embody inside of myFertility Mind-Body Mastery program. It's basically the same energy you feel after you listened to the episodes of the podcast, except it lasts. What you're getting inside of the podcast is a very small, little teaser taste. Um, and inside of the program, I teach you the actual process that I use to get pregnant, that I help my clients to get pregnant. So it's the step-by-step process of how to actually apply it to your life and to your journey. And it provides you with the consistency. You need to create momentum instead of falling off track and back into a doing state. That's so easy, right? And the community to encourage support and hold this new energy for you. Like I said, I know how easy it is to fall into our cultural pressure of just do more, keep adding and eventually it'll happen.

Honestly, I really do. And maybe you have family members telling you that, but there is more to your fertility journey than what meets the eye, but you already know that otherwise you wouldn't be listening to this right now. So firstly, be honest with yourself. A part of you deep down knows this to be true. And maybe a part of you is afraid to lean into this side of things, because maybe it feels too esoteric or intangible. Maybe you're even afraid of judgment based on how other people think that you should be, you know, that you should be going about your journey, but can you trust yourself? And follow it, or are you just going to continue to follow the grind of our culture?

There is magic in the intangible side of the journey that will quickly reveal itself to be tangible and touchable. Once you stop the hustle and over efforting your mind and body. Again, if you find yourself tapping into the magic once in a while, but then quickly falling back into the grind, I am so not judging you. It's so easy to do it. And like I said, I mean, I still do, but it's not about achieving perfection, what you need and what I can provide you with are the tools to come back to recenter and a group, a community that aligns with your values so that you feel supported and see proof of it working in other people's lives, too. Everything you need to create this baby is within you. I know it sounds so cheesy, but it's true. And I never understood it when people would say that to me until finally I felt it. And it's like this, all the doubts and worries you have about yourself and your body are delusions. They're not really true.

But if you believe them, your life will reflect it. And this is very often a result of what happens when we live in a mostly doing state that believes only in the physical and what we see and what has happened so far. Now, if you learn how to disbelieve the delusions and how to think and believe new truths, this is what reveals that being energy. And then your life will begin to reflect this new energy. The best way I can describe it is like peeling away layers of an onion. And each layer you pull away is a belief that was never really true. And the closer you get to the core, the more of that being state you reveal, and you learn that it's been inside of you all along.

So, if you want to bring this energy into your life and your fertility journey then apply to work with me at www.spenserbrassard.Com. You'll then be invited to watch my private training, to learn more about my process, more about Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, and how you can create your baby with this new energy. All the juicy details are inside this private training. I'd love to see your application and to work with you personally, to bring this dream of your baby to life. No more hustle. No more grind. Just rich, dark chocolate and fresh whip. Oh my God. I'm just, I'm so cheesy. Okay. All right guys. That's all for today. Lots of love.


PS. If the Fertile Ground podcast has restored you with hope on the journey to your baby – please leave a review on iTunes. It helps other mama-bears who could be suffering and feeling alone, find the podcast. YOU can help restore them with hope. Click here to leave a quick review (and use a fake name if that makes you feel more comfortable!).


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