My Mother's Day Message To The Mama-In-Waiting
Hey mama bear,
Today is Mother’s Day. I know you might not feel like you belong, or that you’re included…
But trust me when I say:
You are 100% worth celebrating today.
You have had to do so much more than the average person to bring your baby here. And I commend you for this. I honor every step you have taken and every step you will continue to take.
Your persistence is so admirable.
Because of this, I am celebrating YOU today mama-bear.
It only felt natural to be in your ear, as I know first-hand that it can be full of emotion. So, I have released a very special Mother’s Day podcast dedicated to you specifically. The mama-in-waiting. The soon-to-be-mama. Or like I love to call you… the mama-bear
The intention is for you to feel included, loved and enough.
Because you ARE.
My hope is that by the end of this 15-minute podcast, your mind feels a bit clearer, your body a bit lighter and your heart cracked a bit more open to what’s possible for you when you take some time for yourself.
Here’s to you. Enjoy.
All my love!
Xo Spenser
Listen to the full episode:
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to the Fertile Ground podcast with Spenser Brassard. The only podcast that teaches you how to get your mind and body on board so you can get your baby on board. And now here's your host, mind-body fertility expert and certified life coach, Spenser Brassard.
Hey mama bear. I'm honored to be here with you today. Welcome to a very special Mother's Day edition of the Fertile Ground podcast. I don't think I've ever released a podcast on a Sunday, but I knew that I had to be here for you today. I know firsthand that today can be an emotional day. There can be a ton of feelings, a wide range of emotions, and as always, I'm here to support and guide you through it.
I remember on my eight year fertility journey, I always had a good cry on Mother's Day. It was always the day that I really just let myself feel it all. And honestly, after I do this, I always end up feeling so much better, right after a good cry. It just feels amazing. I personally have very vivid, bittersweet memories of this day because while I was trying to conceive I loved celebrating my mom, my sister, and my mother-in-law, but I always felt quite left out. And to be completely honest, it didn't feel right. Like, it didn't feel right not to celebrate me. Now that might sound weird or like, you know, I dunno, it's just weird to hear, but my efforts and desire to be a mother felt like enough to be celebrated.
So I'm here to show you that you are worth celebrating today. That you belong here. So before we continue this podcast, I want you to imagine as if I'm sitting you down on a gorgeous, you know, mauve pink, vintage couch, and I'm saying this all to your beautiful face. Although you may not feel like, or are treated like, a mother in our physical world, you need to know something.
Your future baby is celebrating you. Now, if that sounds too, woo-hoo just imagine that this were true. Imagine this little soul showering you with deep love and appreciation for everything you continue to do. And more importantly, everything you continue to let go of to strengthen your mind-body connection and get pregnant.
From a spiritual perspective, the veil between this world and theirs can be as thin or as thick as you want. The obvious advantage of following your gut feeling or your intuition and leaning into this magical perspective of the fertility journey is just more trust and certainty and therefore less worry and more joy in your life.
So today I'd like to give you the very special Mother's Day gift of thinning the veil. The monkey mind's to-do lists, or better put, demand list... let's be real... on this journey can be extreme and feel super heavy as you know, and it tends to clog your clarity and thicken the veil. So my gift is showing you a few new perceptions to bring clarity into focus.
One of them is... you're doing enough. You are enough. Now, I don't want you to just hear those words. I mean, how many times in the self-help industry do we hear you're enough? You're enough, you're enough. No, no, no, no, no, no. What would it be like to actually feel enough? The pressure to be perfect is a very real thing and it doesn't stop when your baby gets here. I mean, some would argue it gets worse, right? Here's what I've learned about "enoughness", and I really want you to hear this one. I don't want you to just go, okay. Yeah. Enoughness. No, hear this one! Being enough is not about doing enough. Being enough is about learning how to feel enough. Enoughness is a feeling, meaning you will not find it in a completed to-do list or a positive pregnancy test.
It is not, and will never be felt or embodied based on an external circumstance or a completed to-do list. And this is good news. In fact, I mean, if I go through my times in my life when I felt most enough are when I had a huge unchecked to-do list, why? Cause I gave zero fucks. I was just enough. Now that's not to say you can't make lists and finish them. I love a good list and I especially love checking things off of the list, but your feelings of enoughness now, AKA worthiness now, is not based on what you do. It's a feeling you need to learn how to cultivate. That feeling needs to be very intentionally created in a world that is constantly telling us that we're not enough until.
Not enough until we lose the weight. Not enough until we get pregnant, not enough until we carry that baby to term. Not enough until we make multiple six figures, which is why I do what I do with my girls inside of Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. I help to reveal this to them and to feel it for themselves.
I don't teach you how to have a perfect life. I teach you how to love yourself through the imperfect life that everyone in the whole entire world has an imperfect life. Because if the love is there, you can cope and get through anything. From an energetic perspective, that feeling of enoughness, which by the way, can coexist with feelings of doubt and fear, it kind of works like a magnet.
Oh gosh, it actually does. I mean, it's a statement to the universe shifting the need to have a baby, the I'm not enough until I have that baby, right, need... To I'm enough now and I really want a baby, to a happy, healthy desire. And this is ultimately surrender. And, you know, one of the things I know you say to yourself over and over again, whether it's consciously or unconsciously, and we'll make it conscious now, it might even be particularly stronger today is this: I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't be sad. I shouldn't be angry. I shouldn't be tired. I shouldn't be annoyed. I shouldn't be hungry. I shouldn't be happy. It's honestly endless. Replace the shoulds and shouldn'ts with allows. You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to be angry. You're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to be annoyed. You're allowed to be hungry. You're allowed to be happy. To deny this is insane. This emotion of acceptance and allowance is incredible for the human body. And first you accept and then you learn how to take the steps to change these thoughts. If you really want to with processes done through life coaching. One of the gifts inside of the fertility journey is to learn how to feel fully so that you can process life's experiences instead of suppressing or repressing it, which is absolutely, like I said, amazing for your mental and physical health to learn how to make time to open your heart and feel unapologetically.
To learn how to honor the wide range of feelings that human beings have, to learn that whatever you're feeling today on a particularly emotional day is allowed and accepted. Feel it. Mama bear, honor yourself. There are many women who get pregnant on their first try and have three babies who were not given this gift of learning how to feel and honor themselves through the less desirable feelings and emotions. Most people just live in their heads, ruminating over mental stories of suffering that have happened in the past and projecting it in the future. Missing out on the now instead of learning how to use your body to process these emotions, which is what I teach in module one of Fertility Mind-Body Mastery. And I think that's why women feel so relieved after one week inside of the program. They're letting go of months or years of built up emotions. So on this Mother's Day, you know, with your emotions being a bit stronger, why not take it as an opportunity to embrace the crazy beautiful messiness of life?
Start now, start before mama-hood. This is an incredible skill to have because the messiness and uncertainty, I mean, it just does not go away. I know we think that pregnancy, everything will be rainbows and butterflies. I mean, trust me, I thought that too. But the messiness on uncertainty, you know, not going away and realizing this to be true, it's what makes you a living, breathing, human being. It's what teaches you amazing skills of compassion. It's what makes you feel for other people, allowing them to be vulnerable without needing to fix them because now when people are sad you no longer see them as broken because you're no longer seeing yourself as broken. And instead are showering yourself with love and acceptance. Think about it this way. Like it's so easy to get caught up in the analytical, logical aspect of the fertility journey, right. Especially if you're going to doctor's appointments and you're meeting with people who are constantly, you know, saying to you all the numbers and stats, right?
It's hard, especially if you've teamed up with lots of doctors and things like that. And honestly, the left logical side of the brain is extraordinary. I mean, it performs heart surgery and brain surgery, but the desire to have a baby, that was born in your heart. Why then do we switch to logic to bring it to us? Your heart knows the way, all you got to do is take a leap of faith and follow it. I mean, so many people who've joined Fertility Mind-Body Mastery have told me that their monkey minds wanted to keep them in the same spot. They thought, nope, I'm going to stay in the same spot, even though I've been there for years, but their hearts are the ones that encouraged them to join. And fuck, this is so cheesy, right? Just listen to your heart. But this is my cheesy podcast because we're all a little emotional today. Right. And you know, honestly, after these women are inside of the program for just a couple of days, as cheesy as it sounds, they're so happy they listened to their hearts because this spot is where we feel true relief.
This is where our hearts find peace. Not in our heads, in our hearts. Today's a beautiful opportunity to practice feeling your feelings, right? Because they're probably a bit stronger. And by feeling them and allowing them, what you're really doing is you're just accepting yourself. Accept and embrace your emotions like you're watching the most beautiful movie in the world. You know, this is one of the tips I have when I'm feeling extra emotional, or when I'm going through stuff that's particularly feeling a little bit strong, is starting to view it like a movie in that way. I'm not so in it. Right. There's some distance between it.
So today, you know, accept and embrace your emotions. Like you're watching a beautiful movie and feel the relief in your body as you learn to let go of that need to control. Ah, I have relief, right? It's crazy. Cause the biggest secret isn't being fearless. The secret is to have the fear and love yourself anyway. This is what makes the fertility journey that much easier. This is what makes an IVF treatment that much easier, right? Because your worth is not determined on the outcome of these journeys. Instead you are worthy throughout. This is what makes the uncertainty that much easier. This is what makes life that much easier. We don't need to control when the love is already there. Why? Because the reason why we control in the first place is because we believe that we'll receive and have more love if we do, when we can just give ourselves love, appreciation, and grace, regardless of things needing to be controlled on the outside.
Can you sense the enoughness after listening to that? This is it. Now I know that today you might feel like you don't fit in. And even if that's something that you feel that's totally okay. But if you're out celebrating the mothers, honestly, like just imagine me being there and know that I'm celebrating, you know, that you belong with my set of beliefs, which is that you are a mama bear now.
Think about it, your determination, your resilience, your strength, your faith, your patience, your persistence. It's all so fucking honorable. You see, maybe you think that working with me or someone like me would be, you know, me pointing out all of the things you're doing wrong on the fertility journey. Lots of professionals might look at your life, your diet, your thoughts, and tell you that you're doing it all wrong. Like, have you ever had a consultation with someone before and they're just pointing out all the flaws and everything you need to change. I had that with a business consultant about a month ago, and I could just sense her desperation for me to hire her. And they do this to you and view things this way because they want to feel needed. And they think that if by telling you all the things that's wrong with you, then you'll need them more. But the best professionals and support systems that I've had, and I've had many, many in my life are the ones that see the truth of who I am and can help me see it too.
So the best professionals are the ones that can see the truth of who you are and can help you see it too. The ones that see you have doubts, but know that you're still worthy of this baby. The ones that see your fear, but know that you’re still enough, because you are worthy of this baby, you are enough.
And I'd love to help you see this for yourself in Fertility Mind-Body Mastery, which you can apply for through my website. Now I know that I might be biased, but if you're listening to this, you're on the right track. You're leaning into your heart and navigating this sometimes super foggy journey with your mama bear instinct.
Although it might feel like you've taken many detours and windy roads to your baby, cause I sure as hell did. I know that hindsight, they will all have led you to your baby. I commend you on this Mother's Day for your undying commitment and love for your baby. It's a beautiful thing. And will be such an insanely, I'm starting to get emotional... it will be such an insanely incredible story to tell him or her one day. You are a gift to our world mama bear. Thank you for showing up and being all that you are. Happy Mother's Day too you. All right, that's all for today. Lots of love.
Thanks for tuning in. If you want to fast track your mind-body connection, you can sign up for free fertility mindset trainings www.spenserbrassard.com.